Inside the Internet’s Most Unhinged Morning Routine: Ice Baths, Banana Peels & Billion-View Chaos

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More than a billion people have watched fitness influencer Ashton Hall plunge his face into ice water, read the Bible, and rub banana peels on his skin—all before most of us hit snooze for the first time. His 5-hour “morning routine,” now a mega-viral meme, has triggered a global roast session that includes Ed Sheeran, the White House, and, most damningly, Logan Paul.

But beyond the mockery and memes lies something bigger: a cultural shift. Hall’s 85-second video might just be the tipping point for the overcooked, hyper-curated “grindset” lifestyle that’s dominated male self-help spaces for the last decade. Because if this is what peak performance looks like… maybe we’re okay being average.

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Who Is Ashton Hall—and Why Is He in Your Feed?

Hall, 29, didn’t make it to the NFL—but he did make it to internet fame. After pivoting to personal training and riding the pandemic fitness wave, Hall carved out a lucrative niche selling self-optimization dreams to 15 million followers. His brand? Reinvent yourself. His income? Allegedly seven figures. His method? Start your day at 3:52AM and don’t stop until every pore has been purified by expensive water.

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The Hustle Routine That Broke the Internet

Here’s a taste of the now-infamous regimen, as outlined in the viral clip:

• 3:52AM – Wake up
• 3:53AM – Remove mouth tape (a wellness fad with no real science)
• 3:55AM – Brush teeth, rinse with $8-a-bottle Saratoga water
• 4:01AM – Push-ups
• 4:38AM – Bible reading and journaling
• 5:56AM – Ice face dunk, again with Saratoga water
• 6:38AM – Sprint training
• 7:36AM – Swimming
• 8:23AM – Shower
• 8:43AM – Eat a banana, then rub the peel on his face
• 9:06AM – More ice dunking
• 9:17AM – A woman serves him breakfast

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Yes, that is the routine that got 770 million views on X, 107 million on TikTok, and 161 million on Instagram. And yes, the internet has questions.

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From Grindset to Griftset?

Pop culture watchers say Hall’s rise signals the decline of hustle-culture’s credibility. His hyper-disciplined life may look productive, but it also looks profoundly lonely. No friends, no fun, and nothing spontaneous—just a relentless loop of workouts, rituals, and aspirational nonsense. Even the grind-happy YouTuber Logan Paul called it out.

Meanwhile, wellness culture for men is echoing the same arc women’s did a decade ago: from self-care to full-blown consumerism. Fancy water. Exotic supplements. Aesthetic rituals. And under it all, the suggestion that your worth is tied to how optimized you are.

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The Real Tell: “We Gotta Get in at Least 10,000”

In the video’s most revealing moment, Hall casually tells someone on a call, “We gotta go ahead and get in at least 10,000.” Followers? Dollars? Bottles of overpriced water? Doesn’t matter. What matters is that Hall’s performance isn’t about health—it’s about hustle theatre. And it’s wildly profitable.

Since the video blew up, Hall has gained almost 3 million new Instagram followers. So while critics dunk, he’s still cashing in.

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Final Thoughts: Ice-Cold Lies and Warm Beds

Ashton Hall’s viral routine might be the most unintentionally honest moment in modern masculinity: a perfectly polished fantasy that accidentally shows how empty the fantasy really is.

So what’s the lesson here? Maybe real success isn’t in the 4AM wake-up calls, the bottled water, or the banana peel facials. Maybe it’s in recognizing a performance when you see one—and choosing to sleep in.

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